~mYLifEAsAS♡nE~: You'll still be...In my heart....

This is regarding my post before....

When I read about that girl,her name was Fatini....

I realise....how close we are to death....

Whether its OUR death...or people around us....

And I've experience it....

Losing someone around you....

Losing someone that is your family...

Losing someone that you loveD...

Its been almost a year since he left us....

since he left me...

and i will never forget the date Allah claims what is His...

He left on May 11th 2010,exactly on the second day I came to KMPk...

And till this date i regret it that i didn't forced my mom to come and picked me....

to see him for the last time....

coz they already on their way to selangor at the time i got the news...

Out of my family....my whole family...i was the only one who didn't attend his funeral...

even my dad's step sis came from pahang....my uncles came from negeri 9...

all our relatives all over Selangor came to pay him a last visit....

All....but me. His so-called childhood buddy...didn't see him for the last time...

I still wondering why I cried so much for him....

For the whole weekend of my orientation,I cried whenever he cross my mind...

In fact,I'm crying silently now...

Even for my late grandfather,i only cried on the day he died,when i was 14...

but for my cousin,i lost count how much tears i put out...

And my tears will suddenly roll down whenever i heard the song "Kau Sahabat Kau Teman" by Hijjaz...

when i was in boarding school,that is the song that we will sing whenever one of our friend transfer to other school....

And it never crossed my mind that it will be the song...

when my cousin transfer to another world...

A rubic cube was beside me right now...

and that only makes it worse....

coz the last memory i had with him was,the rubic cube.

Right before i started my SPM exam in november 2009,rubic cube became a new sensation in my school...

my juniors that had finish PMR and had nothing to do spend their time practicing on the cube...

i used to become a noob in cubes before...but then i had 1 of my junior to teach me....

and thats how i spend my time after spm...

shortly after my exam ended,my dad planned to go to his step sis house...

and my 2 uncles were to come along with their family...

and i can see all of them were engrossed in those cubes too...

i was still practicing and never solved any....when he,my cousin said he had solved it...

so i want to beat him....and finally i manage to solve the cube...

and since i played with it almost all the time in car (what do you expect?we spent most of our time in car travelling),i soon becomes pro at it...

and it hit me when i never saw him solve a cube till the end...

so i asked him,and he said he never solved one....

i laughed at him...and he asked me to teach him...

i did,but i never finish it since our vacation together ended soon....

after a week or so after our vacation,we went to his house for...i dont remember why...since my mom older sis live there too...my mom and dad's family are bonded...and it will take a whole another post to explain that...

btw.....i asked him about the cube...and he said he success in finishing it...

at least,even if i didnt teach him completely,he still managed to solve one...

some of you might think, "its just a cube,duh"

well...for me,its not just a cube...

its the memory behind it that matter...

and since i was in boarding school,i rarely met my other family and rarely went back to my village even if it was holiday....because my dad is kinda busy with his work....

so i often missed the family gathering when my uncle that live far come back...

and i did say we was childhood buddy...

coz when we was little...we only had each other...he was the oldest grandson in our family....

and now i took his place as the oldest grandaughter...

God,please stop these tears....

the last vacation that we had together before that last memory was in 2007...exactly 1st December 2007.....

we were on wedding party on behalf of my dad cousin to Kedah...

after the wedding,my oldest and youngest uncles decided to head to penang,while we,my granny youngest brother,my dad and his twin (yes,his dad and my dad is a twin) headed to Kelantan....

we spent 8 hours in car,surrounded by forest....until we reached Kota Bharu at midnight...

we slept at one of ex-neighbour of my granpa.....and head to my mom cousin's house the next day....

then we checked in to a chalet at Pantai Cahaya Bulan....and thts when we started to get closer again....

me,my uncle(dad's cousin) and him...

yeah....only both of them are guys....while the others are girls....

my three lil sis and also his 2 lil sis...well....he also has a brother but Aiman was too little to be counted as 'guy'...

when the Moms and Dads (well,my granny and his granny were there too,of course..) went to shopping,we were in charge to look after the smaller....

and we had such a good time together...

since we got 4 chalets (one of his mom's brother came too),its only our family in that area...

at night,we brought food to one of the err....open area with only roof on...

and the wind was sooooo freshening....

we spent some times together and then proceed to Terengganu....went shopping at pasar payang....and his room was beside us in the hotel...

he joined my uncle's family room since they were only three....

and we,the older girls,5 of us share one room...

even though our room were next to each other,we still text instead of shout...

well,basically its me texting with my uncle,not him.....

and we proceed to pahang the next day,stopped by at RnR Temerloh since another of my dad's step sis was there,a hawker....

we had to go back earlier after 5 days of vacation since my uncle was having his spm at that time.....

yeah,i was 15,he was 16 and my uncle was 17....thats why we clicked each other.....

i even got scolded by my mom since i hang out with my uncle at the chalet lobby late at night....

but thats the memories i had with him....and i had none anymore....

and will never have any...anymore....

i kept thinking why i still crying when suddenly i think about him....

even in my class....in his house...in places that would reminds me of him....

and thats because...i never had anyone that i can talk to about him...

and its been a long time too since i met my uncle...

he is busy with his life...

its hurt me to see everytime i open my myspace account,his was there....but will never be updated anymore...

my mom once scolded him coz he was too lazy to take care of his sick brother (did i mention aiman before?)

but for me....he will always be the best brother for me....

i still keep our childhood picture...

where my granny was holding him,my dad was holding me,and we were cutting two cakes...and the pic he had a helmet on,sitting on the chair with his younger sis,me and my sis and one of our cousin held by our dads step sis....

im still looking for the pic where he hug me from behind....

i saw it before,but i cant remember where...